


Mr Parker and Me - starker fic 18+ (part 2 of My Love and Me)

by a starker slut (louielouie)



Series: My Love and Me (3 Parts) [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Porn, BDSM, BDSM Scene, Bottom Peter Parker, Bottom Tony Stark, Cheating, Dom Bucky Barnes, Dom Tony Stark, Dom/sub, Domestic, Dominance, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Good Peter, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light BDSM, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Porn, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Psychological Horror, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Sub Peter Parker, Sub Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24838681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louielouie/pseuds/a%20starker%20slut
Summary: THIS IS PART 2 OF A SERIES, CHECK OUT MR STARK AND ME FIRST :)[This is an AU and nobody has to die, therefore it is not cannon-compatible but sue me I don't want Tony to die]Peter is a lab technician at Stark Industries, of which Tony Stark is the CEO, the two men collide and soon form a relationship that nobody saw coming.The second part of a 3-book series, Mr Parker and Me explores the development of Tony and Peter's budding relationship.Or, Tony takes Peter as his submissive and Peter causes Tony to be soft, and hard and frustrated... and then hard again...Where will they go from here?-A Tony x Peter fic.Will include swearing and will include heavy, kinky smut so 18+ readers only.BDSM relationship warning [Dominant Tony x Submissive Peter]Starker fic, Peter is 19 in this, and Tony is 45[AKA Tony looks like he did in iron man 2 but its set in like Avengers: Civil War time ish; and Peter looks how he does in Far From Home]Don't like it... don't read it. Don't attack me for what I want to write. I'll delete your comments if you're mean.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Clint Barton/Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker/Tony Stark, Quentin Beck/Peter Parker, Quentin Beck/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, dominant/submissive - Relationship
Series: My Love and Me (3 Parts) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754989
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	1. A/N

so this is the author here, I'm Louie.

this is a copied chapter from my previous book, just read it and be mindful. 

I've had some shitty comments in my first book about how I'm a disgusting person for liking Tony and Peter even though apparently they're more like a father/son and how I ship Tony/Peter is nasty and whatever. I never mean to offend people with the stuff I'm writing and so this was really hurtful to hear. If you have feedback, be respectful to me - don't be rude and just outwardly try to offend me. 

Most of the time you guys leave lovely comments on my chapters and I love reading your kind words. It's just that the mean words always stay with me longer. So I'm not going to change commenting on this fic to be disabled, because I have hope that everyone will be kind. But as soon as I hear anything bad I'm turning comment modification on. I don't think that it's right that I should feel like I have to explain myself, and I should just be able to write my stuff because I want to, without fear of judgement or bad comments.

I upload when/where I can and with work that I want to put up, not because I feel forced to because there are readers who expect chapters. I want to upload content I am happy with, and not stuff that I feel pressured to do in a certain way. 

I'm putting this as the first chapter to make sure that people are aware that writers are human, we are (or I am at least) very sensitive people... I don't want any of you to feel called out because if you're here you're probably a fan of my work, so thank you!

Anyway, I love ya, stay safe... love, Louie

the next chapter is officially number 1 by the way :)


	2. Vanilla (1)

Third POV 

"Hey, Peter?" Tony called from the living room sofa. Peter padded into the room from the kitchen carrying two bowls full of food, he also had two spoons tucked under his chin, he squatted down next to the sofa and placed the steaming bowls of soup down gently on the coffee table. He grabbed the spoons from his chin and, after wiping them both on his jeans, handed Tony his. 

"Mhm?" Peter questioned. He plonked his ass down next to Tony and slid his bowl closer to himself, picking up a spoonful he hesitantly blew on the steaming portion. As Tony had not replied he turned his head to see his boyfriend blushing and mumbling quietly as if Peter could hear him and Peter dropped his spoon back into the bowl. "What?" he asked, a smile in his voice. 

"I um-." Tony started and then shook his head, grabbing the bowl off the table. Peter turned, and for the first time ever, took the food out from Tony’s hands and placed it back on the table. “Tony? What’s up?” Peter asked. He shuffled into Tony’s lap and kissed him gently on the cheek. “It’s nothing...” Tony mumbled. The two had been dating for just over 2 months and Tony hadn’t bottomed since, and was missing it slightly. He wanted to ask Peter if they could do it again, but had gotten too shy before asking. He didn’t want to force Peter to do anything and even though Peter hadn’t complained - he didn’t know if Peter had actually enjoyed it. 

"Tony." The cute man in Peter’s lap prompted him to look at him. Tony looked into Peter’s eyes and saw the love shining through them. "What’s wrong Tones? We can always talk, if you need to talk to me about anything I’ll listen. You know that…." Tony nodded and smiled sweetly at Peter. "Yes, I know. I don’t want to talk, per se… I was wondering if, um, we could er" Tony breathed gently and Peter kissed his nose, making sure that Tony understood that this was a safe space. “Can you top me again?” Tony mumbled. Peter laughed gently, “that’s what you’ve been scared about asking?” Peter giggled and kissed Tony gently, “Tony… oh I love you so much… and yes, I can. Now? Or sometime soon?”. Tony blushed and asked if they could do it after dinner, Peter kissed him gently and asked some more questions. “Vanilla like last time or kinky?” Peter asked. “Vanilla, I want you to make love to me...” Tony was still mumbling but at least he wasn’t a stuttering mess anymore. “Of course my love...”

Peter nodded and leant forwards. He kissed Tony's cheek softly and whispered into his soft skin. "You're always safe with me, I’ll always take care of you, ‘n make you feel nice and cared for...". Tony leant back and looked Peter square in the eyes, the blushing had tenfold, and a big cheesy smile was creeping across his face. "I know," Tony said as their lips softly merged together. 

After finishing their food and cuddling on the couch for hours Peter sat up, stomach slightly less full of dinner and sat forwards on the edge of the sofa. He looked down at the floor, or his hands, he didn't know, and started talking. "Look Tony, if I said anything to make you think I don’t like this, and that’s why you were so scared to ask me, or if you think I don’t want to then you’re completely wrong… I love having sex with you, no matter what we’re doing...". "really?" Peter was cut off by Tony, who continued and asked: "even when it’s vanilla? ". Tony looked at the back of Peter’s head that was still crouched over and smiled. He sat up and shuffled forwards and hugged around his boyfriend's waist and back. Resting his head on his shoulder and kissing little kisses into his neck. "Yes, even vanilla, sometimes I prefer the vanilla stuff", he paused, breathing, "’s more intimate… and because I get to show you how much I love you". 

Peter turned his head, "I would happily top you all the time, but sometimes you need to fuck out your feelings, and to be honest I don’t think the kinky stuff would work of I topped..." Tony nodded and smiled, "yeah, no. I like bottoming but I love fucking you, love taking care of you… and I can’t imagine what me bottoming in the playrooms would be like..." Peter breathed in and looked seriously into Tony's glowing eyes. He nodded and kissed behind Peter’s ear cutely. "Don’t even want to think about it..." Peter nodded and rested a hand on Tony's thigh, this action had been done a thousand times before but now it felt weighted. Like the action held more than what it actually was. It showed the beginning of the moment, that would hopefully end in both of them being so far gone by orgasms that they couldn’t talk. 

Tony freed his arm from around Peter’s waist and slid his hand over Peter’s, "I love you Peter. I trust you… take care of me baby, show me how much you love me". "I love you, I’m gunna make you cum so hard..." Tony grinned and kissed Peter gently. "I'm glad. Haven’t cum all day and it's starting to hurt..." Peter giggled and motioned with his head for them both to get up. Tony stood up and the two lovers held hands as they meandered through the (practically shared) apartment and made their way to their huge bedroom, where Peter turned on the side lamps. 

Tony and Peter stripped each other slowly, peeling clothes off and kissing areas of skin that they found particularly appetising. "How'd you feel?" Peter asked, rubbing small circles over Tony's exposed nipples. "Excited, good, safe" Tony listed, his smile hadn't stopped since they got up from the sofa and he was embarrassingly hard, "horny". 

Peter smiled and nodded "me too". 

"Kiss me" Tony stated. Peter could do nothing but oblige. 

He stood up and placed himself between Tony's arms. His hands clasped Tony's face and their lips connected quickly, they were soft and familiar, Peter could feel Tony shuffling backwards and soon Tony sat on the end of their bed and Tony’s legs wrapped themselves around Peter’s waist. Tony's strong legs pulled Peter forward so that he stumbled and fell on top of Tony and their chests pressed together, producing a moan from both men as their bodies rubbed together deliciously. Peter quickened the pace of their kiss and slowly licked into Tony's already panting and open mouth. 

Tony slowly started rolling his hips along with the kiss and Peter moaned out a breath, he was painfully hard and was completely happy with his current situation. Tony smiled into the kiss and rolled his hips harder against Peter’s thigh. Peter pulled away from the kiss to rest his forehead against Tony's. 

"So fucking hot" he breathed out. Tony unwrapped his legs from around Peter and shuffled back before lowering his head down onto a pile of pillows. He reached up and grabbed Peter’s face, giving him a quick kiss before letting go. Peter straddled Tony's legs and reached forwards, he caressed the skin gently and he kissed all the random scars and moles that he knew off by heart. He was pleased to see that Tony was completely limp in his arms, the man relaxed and enjoying Peter’s lips and fingertips. He placed small, wet kisses on Tony's nipples and on his muscly chest. He explored the area with pleasure, occasionally earning a whimper or small moan from Tony. 

He slowly made his way up to Tony's face and kissed his soft cheek gently. He kissed deeply into Tony's relaxed mouth and was glad to see, when they disconnected, that Tony was happy and smiling. His eyes were hooded and content and he had a small smile plastered on his face. 

"Ready for more?" Peter asked while sitting back on his heels. His hands resting on Tony's bare waist. He nodded but lifted his hand, he tugged at Peter’s arm. "I wanna kiss you a bit more,” Tony mumbled. Within a second Peter’s lips were on Tony’s and the two licked into each other’s mouths carefully, Tony smiled and when Peter withdrew, Tony was practically purring. 

Peter slid his fingers over the smooth, slightly tanned skin and eventually reached Tony's hips. His hands paused and hovered above the warm and soft skin of Tony's pubic area. Peter looked up smiling and said "you really want this then?" Tony smiled and nodded, apparently no cares in the world. Peter smiled and delicately placed a hand just above the man’s straining cock. 

Suddenly he had Tony's attention. 

His whole body tensed at the light touch and Tony's eyes and mouth opened, he breathed out a loud moan and his eyes darted straight to where Peter was putting pressure. "You okay there?" Peter asked, amused at how sensitive Tony truly was. "Mhm. Keep going." Tony rushed out. "Can you, you know? Hurry up?" Peter looked down to his exposed chest and leaking cock. He shook his head and told Tony to wait, and that he was ‘in charge’ now. They both knew that within moments Tony could have him pinned into the bed and could have Peter whining for permission to cum, but they ignored that fact and let Peter enjoy a night of control. 

Tony's eyes traced and followed every curve and line on Peter’s body, his member swelling at the mere sight of Peter’s nakedness. Peter saw Tony's eyes which were fully blown out too and shuffled on top of Tony's uncovered legs. Tony placed a hand on Peter’s thigh and rested the other on his lightly toned stomach. "You're... like... a god" Tony breathed. 

Peter smiled and leaned forward and kissed his boyfriend quickly. "And you are the hottest demon". Tony grinned and relaxed back against the pillows. Peter sat back on his heels, but as he'd adjusted his position, his ass ended up grinding harshly against Tony's sensitive manhood. 

By reflex, Tony bucked his hips upwards into Peter’s butt and they both whimpered at the contact. "Peter, I'm hella horny already, if we keep up with this level of foreplay I'm not going to make it to the full course meal" Peter laughed and nodded at his desperate boyfriend. "Don't worry, I was just going to ask if we could go farther" Tony rolled his hips upwards slowly while Peter was talking. 

"Great minds think alike" Tony muttered while his fingers played with Peter’s fingers gently, both men watching their hands intertwining gently. 

Peter began drawing light patterns on Tony's hips and pubic area with his fingertips, making him buck up into his hands at the sensation. Peter smiled once more and stopped teasing both of them, he traced a finger over Tony’s cock and he responded by lifting his hips so that Peter might touch him some more. Peter grabbed the bottle lube which had fallen on the floor at one point. 

Peter positioned himself between Tony's legs after kissing Tony’s nipple again and undoing their hands from each other. He pushed his boyfriend’s legs further apart. He bent Tony's legs for ease and kissed up and down the inside of his Dominant's thighs. He sucked one of his own fingers in his mouth and lathered it up with spit. It would be warmer than the lube and for now it would work. Peter looked up to Tony's face and saw him sweetly looking down at him, again, his mouth curled in a permanent smile. 

Tony noticed that Peter had frozen and nodded, purposefully relaxing into the pillows and breathing out. Peter rubbed his dry hand up and down Tony's thigh in a hopefully reassuring way. Peter’s wet finger pushed lightly against Tony's little puckered hole and slowly slid in. Tony's body tensed up but with some soft coaxing from Peter and some kisses to his thighs Tony managed to relax and breathe again. 

Peter whispered words of encouragement and support to the slowly loosening man beneath him, along with promises and words of love. Song lyrics and moans intertwined as Tony was lulled into the rhythm of Peter’s fingers. Tony smiled contently at the ceiling above him and hummed quietly with pleasure. Peter’s pace slowed with his fingers and he gradually pulled them out more and more. 

Tony spread his legs slightly to see what his boyfriend was doing behind his legs and saw Peter kneeling in front of him, lubing up his member. Tony grabbed another pillow from behind and above his head and shoved it under his head to support his neck. The whole time, his eyes did not leave his sexy, beautiful and kind boyfriend. 

Peter looked up and immediately his eyes encountered Tony's shining and happy ones. He smiled and asked "is everything okay?" Tony nodded immediately and simply smiled. "I- um- can we- um... go- um" Peter stopped rubbing his member and looked into Tony's eyes. "slow? I trust you but it's like gunna hurt if you go too quick and I wanna not get ripped in half? Please..." he trailed off... Peter smiled and nodded "yes baby, I'll take it super slow, trust me...". Tony dipped his head in acknowledgment and slid his feet closer to his bum to make Peter’s life easier. “I do...” Tony moaned.

Peter leant forwards and ended up laying down on top of Tony, their faces an inch apart and their peripherals filled with each other's faces. Tony smiled and wrapped his legs around Peter’s waist as Peter bowed his head to look in between their bodies. He directed the head of his shaft into Tony's virgin entrance and slowly pierced the beautiful hole. The warmth and tightness was excruciating for Peter, all he wanted to do was plough his member straight in and pound into the warm, tight flesh. 

But he didn't. 

He slowly pressed deeper into Tony and paused every time a squeak or whimper came from Tony's mouth. He kissed him, he hugged around him, he poured words of praise and reassurance from his mouth. He wanted Tony to always feel safe and comfortable with him, happy and loved. And he voiced that. 

Tony on the other hand wanted nothing more than to hear Peter’s soft words and feel his light kisses ghosting his sweaty cheeks and forehead. He wanted to hear the soft, cute nicknames Peter had come up with in the past two months again and again and again. He loved the feeling of closeness between him and Peter and he wanted to stay like this forever. So he voiced that. 

When Peter was finally fully seated within Tony's tight heat he pushed up off of Tony's torso a bit to allow for some breathing space, he shifted in and out carefully and after hearing a moaned "will you fucking move" from Tony below him, he began moving in and out of the warm cavern he wanted to call home. Peter smiles and pulled out, entrapping Tony’s lips with his in a kiss. 

Peter bit a hickey onto Tony’s throat and hummed when Tony let out a quiet, high pitched moan. “Louder.” Peter teased, a smile spread across his face. Tony nodded and as he did, Peter thrust into him quickly and forcefully; Tony let out a lower, throaty moan and blushed immediately after. Peter kissed his red cheeks and praised him a little, watching as his boyfriend’s cheeks grew redder and redder. “You’re so good Tony, I love you”. Tony closed his eyes and smiled, “I love you too Pete”. 

Peter took his time, kissing Tony's lips while pulling out and moaning loudly while pushing in, he took every second as it came. He enjoyed it and then moved onto the next. He sped up, slowed down, hesitated and didn't. He let his body take control while his mind wandered between thoughts of love and trust and happiness and Tony. 

After thrusts and pauses Tony couldn't take it anymore. He'd held on for far too long and he was shaking. "Peter I'm-" he panted "I'm-". Peter quickly grabbed Tony's untouched penis for the first time that night and helped him through his orgasm by increasing his pace and matching his hand to his hips. 

When they came together, Peter saw stars. His hole swallowed his member tightly and Peter forgot how to breathe. He felt his own orgasm collide into him from within and like a wave crashing to shore, his energy flooded outwards. 

Collapsing onto Tony’s sweaty chest, Peter slowly remembered how to breathe and sensitively pulled out of the love of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are very much appreciated... I can't wait to see what you think of the new book/chapter!


	3. Anxiety (2)

2

Peter’s POV 

Peter scooted into his chair and winced as Ned came bumbling over. “Heya Pete- where were you this weekend? You said we would have a movie marathon...” Ned mumbled. Peter had skived seeing Ned as soon as Tony had asked if Peter wanted to come round on Friday night. He’d felt bad in the moment and then promptly forgotten about Ned as soon as he and Tony settled into their domestic heaven over the weekend. 

He felt bad now and apologised profusely, promising that they’d meet later that night for dinner at Peter’s apartment. The two got on with their work as soon as Mr Lee glanced near their direction and Peter zoned into his studies about the arc reactor’s efficiency levels and the latest energy production stats from the huge thrumming arc reactor in the middle of the room. Peter almost didn’t notice when the atmosphere of the room shifted to be 100x more tense. He did when he noticed Tony was in the room, however, and he looked up as soon as he noticed that his lover was standing nearby. The hairs on his arms stood on end in shock as he glanced over Tony’s frame. The man was in a hideously expensive suit that Peter had watched him dress himself in this morning and the Stark glasses that Peter now knew housed Jarvis.

Tony was talking to Mr Lee and every other employee in the room was tense as they tried to act about working on the things in their shaky hands, but also keeping a keen eye on Tony. To make sure he wasn’t about to fire them for breathing too loudly. Peter grabbed his mini-arc reactor and the attached phone model, along with the designs and a memory card full of the specs, his initial ideas and all the tests he had run. He was one of the three people who had managed to make a functioning arc reactor, the rest of the technicians had only made crappy prototypes of it. Peter, Kyle and Flash (*shudder*) had managed to make the arc reactor successfully function, but Peter had by far excelled his coworkers and had made a system for the phone that could be powered by his model arc reactor. 

Tony started to wander around the room, talking with Mr Lee and each employee about their designs. Peter watched as Tony’s hands were shoved in his pockets and the older man was a little too relaxed in his stance to be playing attention. Peter knew that Tony’s attention span was shorter than a goldfish’s and so this ‘interacting with every nerd in the room’ thing would probably kill Tony if it went on for too long. Peter sat back in his chair and zoned out, watching Tony and Mr Lee move from each lab technician’s desk slowly. 

Eventually Tony and Mr Lee were analyzing Ned’s hard work, he’d done well and made something that could be used properly sometime soon. Since Peter was next he began fidgeting with the items on his desk with nerves. He was afraid that he would let something slip, cry if Tony insulted his work, or accidentally give the man ‘heart eyes’ as Tony had told him he does occasionally. 

Tony and Mr Lee paced over to Peter’s desk and Peter tried not to be offended at the way that Tony’s posture hadn’t changed and his hand was still shoved into his suit pocket nonchalantly. “So uh, I um made a demo version of the er arc reactor, based on a 1:100 ratio in scale of the um the big one over there” Peter stuttered out. Tony was flicking through his phone and seemingly ignoring him. Mr Lee, who had heard the presentation twice already, was still keenly listening and was nodding along with Peter’s words to try and help encourage the scared man. Peter stammered on and continued to explain how he had come to his final design and how he had modelled the arc reactor to be more efficient than the original design was but Tony interrupted him. The man was still staring at his phone when Peter suddenly watched as Tony marched out of the room with a meek apology. 

Peter was left dumbfounded, there were three more employees that Tony had to review, and there was one thing for Tony to act casual so as to not give anything away, but being plainly rude and ignoring Peter and then walking off was behaviour that was too rude even for the submissive to ignore. “Excuse me Mr Lee, bathroom...” he explained casually, before walking out of the room. Peter skidded into the lift and jammed the button to go to the penthouse floor. Jarvis’ voice spoke inside the lift “name?”. Peter gave his name and the elevator slowly crawled its way up the 30-floors that it had to before getting to Tony. Peter watched as the numbers crept up and eventually after hours of waiting the doors slid open. Tony wasn’t in the flat as far as Peter could see, and that was the majority of the apartment: the whole thing was very open floor and the bedrooms were separated from the main living area by glass walls that frosted over once the doors were closed. And he could see that nobody was in. 

“Jarvis where’s Tony?” Peter asked, “Mr Stark is currently flying to New Mexico in the Iron Man suit” Jarvis replied simply. “Why?” Peter questioned. He slumped into one of the couches and sniffed the fabric by his shoulder and smiled subconsciously at the scent of Tony that flooded his nose. “Ms Potts requested his presence there Mr Parker, he won’t be back for a week - as I can tell - he is booked to stay in a hotel for the next four nights” Jarvis replied. As if Jarvis was telling him to go away, the elevator doors slid open and Peter could see the button for his floor was illuminated. 

Confused, hurt, and irritated; Peter left and went back downstairs to the lab. He texted Tony: “when u get this call me, what was that?”. He knew it was blunt, he knew it was remencient of a stroppy toddler, he knew it was rude. He didn’t care, he wanted answers. 

What hurt the most wasn’t that Tony had been rude and left, it wasn’t that he’d ignored his hard work (although both were infuriating...) it was that Tony hadn’t told Peter he was leaving for New Mexico this morning, he hadn’t mentioned it at all, and he hated that it had to be with Pepper Potts. Tony and her had been married, they’d fallen in love (and promptly out of it too), and they’d shared a lot over 10 years. Peter’s jaw clenched as he remembered how much Tony had trusted her, he’d handed over the company before they were even dating… was there something still going on between Tony and Pepper? 

Peter recalled hearing about Pepper and someone living in Europe together representing Stark Industries, but things can change, people can break up very quickly - and equally get back together with people. Peter glowered at his phone, which hadn’t notified him of a reply from Tony yet, and he clenched his fist under the table. 

Why didn’t he trust Tony? 

Why did he immediately jump to conclusions like this?

Peter knew the answers, but he wasn’t ready to admit them yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feeling hella unispired and ive now dried up all my pre-written content so sorry if I go quiet for a bit


	4. Nighttime (3)

3

Switch POV

Tony sat up in bed and breathed deeply and loudly against the silence of his darkened room. His eyes scanned around the room and only saw the shadows that moved towards him. He shuddered and jumped over to the other side of the bed to grab his phone, after turning the flashlight on and creating a small circle of light in front of him he sighed, now a little more comfortable. He couldn’t stop his eyes from roaming around the room, nor his imagination from creating monsters and non-existent beings from crawling closer to his shaking form on the bed. He closed his eyes and fell backwards into his pillows, he grabbed a few and curled his body around them, cuddling them tightly. He flinched when a floorboard creaked outside his room but calmed once he heard Pepper’s quiet cough a few seconds later. He looked around the room with the flashlight again and whimpered against the pillows in his arms, “I don’t like this,” he mumbled to himself.

His mind wandered slowly from a bad scenario to a worse scenario until a happy thought popped into his scared mind. “What if you go get hugs from Pepper?”, Tony smiled as the thought hit his head, he liked that idea. He sat up, grabbing one of his pillows and began the terrifyingly dark walk to his lover’s room. He crossed the corridor and knocked on the door, a hum came from within and Tony entered. His breath was shaky, and he was nervous, after opening the door he saw Pepper sat in her bed, a book open on her thighs and the blanket was tucked under her chin. Tony gulped. She looked so cute when she was reading.

Pepper was looking at the doorway that Tony was standing in and Pepper nodded for him to enter more. “What is it, Tony?” Pepper asked softly, Tony walked towards her and the bed after closing the door quietly. “I cant sleep, love, I-” Tony stuttered and stumbled over his words until he stopped altogether. Pepper put the book on the bedside table and opened her arms to Tony, “come here…” she mumbled. Tony waddled over, his pillow embraced tightly in his arms and face red from blush.

“Thank you Pep” Tony mumbled, Pepper leaned forwards and grabbed Tony's hand when he stood still at the side of the bed. She pulled him towards her and smiled as the man collapsed in the bed beside her; humming, Pepper pulled the warm covers over Tony’s exhausted frame and hugged him tightly, shuffling Tony’s warm body closer to her own. Tony watched as Pepper huffed while reaching backwards to turn off the bedside light; after struggling with the light and threatening to throw it on the floor they were submerged in darkness. Pepper sighed, contented, and closed her eyes while wrapping her arms around the man next to her. “If you don’t want to sleep we can just chat if you want?” Pepper mumbled, her lips becoming dangerously close to Tony’s forehead for comfort.

Tony nodded slowly after a while, almost asleep already; Pepper smiled and nodded softly. “Go to sleep Tony, I’m here” Pepper muttered as she watched the adorably inept man in her arms fall asleep. She understood that he had really bad migraines and nightmares sometimes about his memories from the past, she just wondered how bad it must have been for him to come crawling into her bed. Not that she minded, she knew that Tony was now with Peter and that Tony was very comfortable with his sexuality and that she was probably some weird blip in the Matrix. She also knew that she was very happy with her stunning wife and that she wouldn’t change their relationship for the world. She just couldn’t help it when the old feelings started to bubble up for Tony again as she hugged him closer to her. Pepper smiled, she didn’t mind at all if Tony made her doubt her relationship. She knew that nothing would happen, she just felt a little guilty that she did feel in such a way for Tony still. If Nat or Peter found out about Pepper’s continued feelings she would hate herself, and so she stopped herself from kissing the top of Tony’s head, shaking her head and shuddering at the thought of Nat finding out she mentally smacked herself and forced herself to go to sleep. 

That didn’t work, so Pepper kept thinking about Nat and how she had been so good at not thinking about Tony like this; Nat and Peter should never know that Pepper’s heart still did a flip-thing whenever Tony walked in the room, and they also shouldn’t know that here they are, cuddling, and they definitely shouldn’t know that Pepper was currently smiling uncontrollably like a fool and also had a hot, red blush plastered over her cheeks just because of Tony’s cute snores that were muffled against her chest. Pepper sighed, she was so pathetic but she didn’t care as she nuzzled her nose into the top of Tony’s warm, shampoo-smelling hair; Pepper fell asleep, curling closer to the man in her arms, not wanting to explain this reaction in the morning to her ex-husband.

-

Pepper mumbled in her sleep. Tony knew that already, but this was the first time he’d seen it in a while. He kept smiling each time his ex-lover huffed out something, it made no difference whether Tony could actually tell what Pepper was saying, he still smiled each time.

Pepper had a habit of crinkling her nose with disgust - but Tony knew that already, but this was the first time he was two inches from her doing so... The adorable button nose withdrawing from his face in the adorable manner each time she mumbled something, seemingly disgusted by something in her dream. Tony smiled softly at Pepper, she was too cute; Tony blinked back into real life and realised that if Pepper woke up, she would see Tony staring up at her face adoringly. She would also feel Tony’s arms and legs wrapped around hers, Tony began untangling their legs from each other, thinking of Peter (and what he would think), but as he did Pepper whined loudly. It was the cutest noise Tony had heard in a while, his heart did a summer-sault and Tony’s face filled with a smile. Finally, Tony’s thoughts had caught up with him: Pepper wanted his cuddles, or asleep Pepper did at least. Shrugging, Tony tangled their legs back together and wrapped his arm back around Pepper’s slim waist that had moved while he was withdrawing his legs. Pepper sighed happily against Tony’s chest hair and begin shuffling around Tony’s limbs, she ended up nuzzling her face into Tony’s chest, leaving the man a blushing, flustered and confused mess. Tony smiled to himself and tried to breathe, failing to do so, he accepted his sweet death and relaxed into the pillows. He guiltily thought of Peter, who he’d run away from yesterday, and tried to shove the boy out of his mind as he cuddled into Pepper. 

-

Pepper sat up and pouted. Tony had gone, he left after he’d woken up and Pepper was beyond disappointed that her ex-husband had sneaked out without saying goodbye. Pepper fell back into her pillows and grabbed one that Tony’s head had been lying on, sniffing it softly she smiled. It smelled of him! Pepper smashed her head into the pillow and curled up, wanting to cry. Of course Tony wouldn’t stay, he just needed to sleep after whatever had haunted him the night before. She thought about Nat, and Peter and how guilty Tony must be feeling. And how guilty she should be feeling.

“Love?” Peppers whole body flinched at the nickname that was running around in her mind and then relaxed, disappointed, as she realised it was her memories failing her. There was no way that Tony had called her ‘love’ again.

-

Tony sat at the breakfast table and sighed loudly, his head in his hands. “What’s wrong Boss?” Happy asked, his mouth full of toast. “Nothing, Happy... I just didn’t sleep well,” Tony sighed and closed his eyes. Resting his head against the table, Tony attempted to sleep once more, just so he didnt have to see Pepper again - he felt so bad, he’d disturbed Pepper’s night and then cuddled inappropriately into her and started to stare at her creepily for half of it.

A pair of feet shuffled into the room, and as they used to live together for far too long, Tony knew immediately that it was Pepper, he cringed aggressively in his seat and sat up. “Morning…” he mumbled, Pepper nodded as she passed Tony and the other people in the room and began sorting out her breakfast. Tony stood up and walked over to Pepper.

“Hey- ” Tony started, Pepper nodded and leaned against the counter, facing Tony. “Sorry about last night?” it came out more of a question than a statement but Pepper nodded anyway, “I don’t know why you’re apologising but sure... It’s what any good person should do for another person in need of comfort” Pepper mumbled, Tony felt hurt. ‘Pepper would do that for any of the people in the room?’ Nodding back and shrugging at the same time, Tony left the room to go shower.

-

A knock on the door startled Tony. “Yeah?” he asked, he’d just finished showering and he had just begun shaving his face of the small amount of stubble that had accumulated on top of his lips and around his chin and jaw in the past few hours. The door opened and Pepper stepped into the fog chamber, fake coughing and fanning the air Pepper closed the door behind her.

“I just wanted to clear things up, you seemed pissed off earlier” Pepper started, “I wouldn’t do that for anyone... cuddle them and let them sleep in my bed all night, I mean” she paused and Tony nodded, “okay?”. Pepper smiled nervously and continued “I- why did you apologise?” Pepper looked at Tony.

Tony breathed and looked back at Pepper. “I disturbed you before you went to sleep, and then I hugged you - you don’t like hugs from me - as you made clear earlier in our relationship, I should have asked, sorry…” Pepper shook his head, “You didn’t disturb me, I always feel a little lonely at night, Happy being all quiet, and Harley and Morgan always running between rooms…” she trailed off. “Nobody really thinks of me,” she mumbled, Tony gasped quietly, “bullshit!”

“Pepper that’s not true,” Pepper waved her hand to stop Tony, and she interrupted him: “and I love hugs, I just didn’t like the reactor against me… its cold and weird” she smiled meekly and the two made eye contact. “Why’d you think that nobody thinks of you? You know that they’re just respecting your privacy...” Tony leaned against the sink and crossed his legs while standing.

Peppers breath got caught in her throat. Not from the question, but she had finally looked at Tony. A white towel was hugging his hips, but there was nothing else on him. His slightly hairy and tanned chest was on full display and Pepper had a hard time ripping her eyes off of Tony’s torso. “I, um, I don’t know? I think I like to be alone, but then people assume that you want to be alone all the time. Harley is super sweet with Morgan but always seems like he’s treading on eggshells around me all the time; it puts me on edge… I think that its sweet that you thought of me last night… ‘n not Peter -” Pepper blushed at her rambling but Tony nodded. It all made sense, they’d known each other long enough that he knew what she meant. He pushed everyone away too and so he knew what she felt. Pepper pushed off the wall she’d ended up leaning on and walked two steps towards Tony, her heart was beating rapidly, and she could feel her pulse in her ears. Pepper kissed him. Pepper breathed out gently against Tony’s lips as the two ex-lovers stood in shock at their own actions. Too quickly, and yet too slowly, Tony kissed Pepper back. They kissed for a few seconds until Peter’s face flashed into Tony’s mind and he bolted from the room, only dressed in a towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cheating is bad don't do it >:(


	5. Falling (4)

4

Tony POV

Tony grimaced as Peter’s fourth text ‘ping’ed his phone. He ignored Pepper’s eighteenth message that ‘ping’ed his phone. 

Pepper had been trying to talk to him after their ‘accident’. And Tony had texted Peter ‘I’m sorry’ and then had refused to answer Peter’s replies. He fucked up. Again. Tony swung his legs and looked out at the cliff’s edge to the horizon. The sun was slinking under the mountains that Tony could see, and the clouds were becoming a darker, lonelier shade of purple as the sun disappeared from view. Tony sighed and allowed his thoughts to wonder. 

Pepper must feel horrible too, her texts must be threatening him for fucking her up; he’d missed Peter so much that he’d jumped on the first thing he saw (as per usual - as soon as Tony had gotten lonely he would jump into bed with someone). But this time it was different. He’d jumped from his beautiful boyfriend’s bed to his ex-wife’s bed. His stunning submissive to his ex-spouse. From Peter to Pepper. 

And he hated himself for it. Tony shivered as the air dramatically cooled (due to the moonlit, inky sky that wasn’t heating everything around him now). He didn’t move, maybe the cold would help him to numb his mind. Help him to numb his broken, guilty heart. 

Tony had never been that committal, he’d had too many affairs away from Pepper to be able to count, and hadn’t looked back when they’d had their divorce three years ago. He’d been committed to Peter, but the first night he was away from his boyfriend, he’d jumped into Pepper’s bed - and then kissed her the next morning. He knew it was ‘just’ a kiss, but equally he knew it was a kiss nonetheless. It wasn’t like he’d fucked her, but he may as well have - the damage was just as bad. 

Pepper had created a whole new life away from Tony, and it was Happy’s fault that this trip to New Mexico had even happened. Pepper had finally admitted her feelings for Nat, and to everyone’s shock Nat proposed three weeks later. They’d raised Morgan, (Pepper had been pregnant throughout the divorce process and hadn’t realised until the week after they’d signed the papers. She’d kept their daughter [because of course she had] and her and Nat had raised her to be the cutest badass you could think of. Her big brown eyes reminded everyone of Tony - that and her conniving ways to be able to manipulate everyone into giving her extra sweets...) and soon after they had adopted Harley. He was a sweet boy that Tony had met whilst on a trip to Tenessee which Nat had joined him on. They had both found a deep love for the boy, and when - a few months later - Tony heard that Harley’s mom had passed away, Pepper and Nat had scooped the boy up and taken him home with them. 

Tony still looked after Harley most of the time, but recently (due to certain curly-haired commitments in New York,) Tony had forgotten to come to visit the boy. Tony felt bad about that, but he knew that Happy, Nat and Pepper were treating Harley amazingly. He also knew that Morgan was infatuated with her new brother and followed him around everywhere. So he knew he probably wasn’t missed too badly. 

Tony thought back to when Pepper and Nat had told him that they wanted to move away from New York. They’d told him about their new house in France, and about their ranch in New Mexico, and about Nat’s other secret houses across the globe (the former-assassin had about 30 according to Pepper) and he couldn’t argue about them moving. He had no right to keep them chained in New York, even if he had wanted to. And so he’d watched them leave - and he had to travel for miles to come and see them. It wasn’t too bad, he had the Iron Man suit that got him to France in 4 hours, and to New Mexico in 3. He had been ignoring his old body guard’s messages out of spite (he’d lost a bet a while ago that he didn’t want to pay back because goddamn it, he was a stubborn prick) and then when he finally replied to the man’s texts he had been warned against forgetting Morgan’s birthday and to get his ass down to New Mexico ASAP. 

He had run out of the lab so that he wasn’t late, he had had to go a bit too fast for comfort in the Iron Man suit just to get to Morgan’s birthday party on time, and been so exhausted from the whole day that he’d just crashed at the ranch - rather than gone to the hotel he was supposed to stay in. It was pure chaos once he’d arrived. The kids had been eating cake all day (and thus were in a permanent sugar high...) and Nat had left regrettably for a last-minute sting operation run by SHEILD. Pepper had almost cried with relief when he’d arrived and Happy had clapped him on the back and passed over a screeching and wiggling three-year-old into his arms. He was happy to be with his extremely dysfunctional family, but he’d missed Peter and had worried about how the man felt about his actions in the lab. He had gotten a text three minutes after he’d left from Peter but ignored it and had told Jarvis to turn off text alerts unless they were from Happy or Pepper or where about someone dying. 

Now his phone had kept ‘ping’ing and he was so frustrated with himself, for fucking up once again, that he threw it over the side of the cliff and watched as it became too small to be able to focus on. He didn’t even hear it smack into the ground. 

Better the phone than himself. 

Tony shuddered as he felt the sting of hypothermia threaten to damage his body. The sky was black now, with no distinction from the clouds, apart from one that was just clipping over the surface of a thin ‘C’ of the moon. 

Tony’s eyes felt heavier and heavier as time went on, and soon, once even the moon had abandoned him, he let his eyes droop close and his body finally went numb. He knew he was falling, which way - he didn’t care - forwards would kill him, and backwards would kill him too. He would either die from the cold, or from the fall. He didn’t care. He knew that everyone would be better off if he went - better for Peter and Pepper and Happy and Nat and Harley and Morgan. Better for him, he wouldn’t be able to hurt everyone if he was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u ever feel like this call someone - suicide sucks for everyone around you and I promise you, you'll hurt them more if you go (AKA ignore Tony he's being a stupid person)


	6. Panic (5)

5

Peter jolts upright, hairs standing on edge and breathing sharpened. He looks around his room for the thing that made his spider-senses alert. Happy stands in his doorway. 

“Hey Pete, didn’t mean to startle you...” He mumbles, Peter breathes in deeply at the relief that it’s just Happy. “It’s ok- what’s up?” Peter yawns, scooting backwards in his bed so he’s sat more comfortably. 

“Have you heard from Tony? You two ‘re together right?” Peter listens and blushes as Happy tells him that he knows about him and Tony. “Mhm we are and no? I haven’t heard from him… something wrong?” Peter asks. Peter immediately grabs his phone and starts texting Tony. He’d texted ‘I’m sorry’ ages ago and then ignored Peter’s replies. But that was common practice because Tony often ignored the younger man’s texts. 

“That’s useless… Tony’s been ignoring everyone for hours now… he went missing this morning but he’s nowhere and the Iron Man suit is still at the ranch...” Happy trails off. “HOURS AGO?!” Peter screeches as he gets out of bed and grabs a hoodie to go over his PJs. He kicks on some slippers and starts rushing out of the small apartment, followed by a confused Happy. 

“Where we goin’ Pete?” Happy mutters, closing the front door behind him and practically chasing Peter down the hallway to the elevator. “You drove right?” Peter asks, skidding round corners as he breaks into a sprint. “Yeah-” Happy puffs, barely keeping up with the man who he doesn’t know is SpiderMan. 

-

The two men skid into the garage below Stark Towers and Peter runs out from the car and jams his finger into the lift button, calling it to him as he waits for Happy to get out of his car. “Happy he could be dead. Hurry up.” Peter shouts, the lift doors open and Peter jumps in and slams his hand on the button for the penthouse and starts talking to Jarvis. 

“Hey Jarv- where’s Tony?” Jarvis’ deadpan voice answers back quickly “um, I don’t know Sir”, making Happy jump in shock. The doors close and Peter shouts at Jarvis to make the elevator go faster. It does, and it almost makes Happy throw up. Once the doors open Peter runs out and out of view, still shouting things to Jarvis, leaving the bodyguard alone. 

Peter sits at Tony’s desk in their bedroom and demands Jarvis do thousands of things to try and track where Tony is. “Where was his last text sent from? Can you get the Iron Suit to find him? Is he wearing the Stark Glasses? Has he been seen anywhere via social media?” Jarvis answers them as much as he can and when Happy eventually finds Peter he sits on the edge of the bed and just stares as Peter is in ‘finding where the fuck my stupid boyfriend is’ mode. 

After a few minutes Peter can confirm that Tony is still in New Mexico since he hasn’t flown anywhere in the suit or seen in any airport, he hasn’t been seen online either (which is odd…) and that the Iron Suit is now roaming around trying to see if it can find any sign of Tony. “We need to get to New Mexico” Peter mutters. It takes Happy a moment to realise he wasn’t talking to Jarvis before he replies. “I flew down in a chopper, I can get it to come here and grab us if you want?” Peter hums in approval and goes straight back to telling Jarvis what to do and what to look for now. 

While Happy texts the pilot and tells him where to come and collect them, Peter shouts at Jarvis, getting more and more stressed about Tony’s disappearance. There is no CCTV, no social media, no vitals, no glasses, no suit, nothing. And it’s scaring Peter shitless. He wants to just curl up into a ball and cry, and be the pathetic sub that he is. But he can’t because he needs to find his Daddy. 

-

The whole flight down to New Mexico Peter’s leg is jittering and bouncing. Happy tells Peter of all the times that Tony has gone missing before, and how he shouldn’t be so nervous. But then Peter reminds him that Tony has always been seen in a bar, or club, or brothel. He hasn’t yet. Peter keeps aware of Jarvis’ findings through a pair of Stark Glasses that Tony left laying around; he keeps asking the AI more and more questions to try and work out what happened. 

As far as he can tell, Tony was in the house until around 10 AM, when he left the house by foot through the back gate. He had a tee-shirt on and a pair of jeans. That was it. He was barefoot, no glasses, a phone in his pocket, and no coat. Peter shook with anxiety and Happy grabbed his thigh to grab the man’s attention. He mimed breathing in and Peter took a deep breath in. The older man hugged him tightly and Peter fell into the man’s embrace. It was 11 PM now, and Tony had been missing for over 12 hours now. Peter feared the worst at all times (either because he was an anxious teen, or because of the spider bite...) but this whole situation wasn’t helping him calm down. Neither was Jarvis’ lack of answers. It was almost as if Tony didn’t want to be found. But Peter knew that with all this - he should have found a crumb by now…

“Tell me about you and Tony...” Happy muttered into Peter’s hair. The two were still hugging and Peter was numb with fear and practically paralysed now that he’d let his body relax for almost a second. “Why?” Peter asked, fully defensive. “Just… tell me what he’s like- I only know him as Tony Stark, but you know him as someone completely different… I won’t tell your aunt by the way...” Happy assured Peter. Blushing, Peter replied “he’s sweet- kind and ah- I love him” Peter muttered the last bit as Happy laughs. “Cute...” Peter rolls his eyes and smiles up at the man. 

“We went to a lake house for a weekend, it was nice… we are talking about going to Italy together soon...” Peter mumbles, “but if we don’t find him I suppose that won’t happen...”. Peter sniffs and Happy squeezes the man closer to him in the seat. “It’ll be okay Pete-” he assures. 

“I hope so…” Peter mumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooooooooo uninspired for this so bare with me- i'm creatively all dried up :((((((((((((((((
> 
> I'm enjoying the story but i'm just not in the right headset right now. Ive been really badly affcted by Covid, my mum's brother (so my uncle?) died from it (and my cousins are super sick too) and it fucking sucked not being able to go to his funeral. So yeah, im not in the mood to right smut and happy stuff rn (and sorry for the suicide chapter - that's just how i felt at the time)
> 
> [im ok now btw dont worry]
> 
> Also i won't give up on this story- it might just take me a while.... 
> 
> Be safe and wear masks. Keep everyone around u safe. <3


	7. Alt. Ending.

So I began to write this fic in a good mood, then shit happened IRL and I felt all of this stuff and wrote it into my fic, this wasn't the ending I wanted but I wanted to share this very depressing ending that could happen in this storyline, TWS!!!!!!!!!!!! read the tags and below; suicide attempt, depression, this is a very sad fic.

This is continuing from chapter 4 (Falling) of Mr Parker and Me- and is not accurate with the remainder of that fic when I eventually write it.

please don't read this if it could trigger you.

\------> next work in this series is the fic, I'll get to writing the end of this one when I can

Sorry I haven't been here.


	8. Darkness (6)

Tony’s POV 

Tony groaned as he got manhandled and then was shoved into a vehicle that started jolting and producing a loud thrumming noise. “Don’t worry Mr Stark, you’re safe with us now” he grumbled at them to be more careful and one of them injected his forearm with something that stung for a second and then put him to sleep. 

-

Tony was disturbed multiple times throughout his journey, he’d been awoken by shouting, then put back to sleep; then he’d been awoken by the sound of a helicopter, then put back to sleep; then he’d been awoken by being shoved onto a cold mattress and then rolled and shoved into different positions so that people could check his body, then put back to sleep. 

-

Tony’s head thudded with his pulse and his vision swam as he finally came round from his enforced coma. He grimaced at the nasty taste in his mouth, and the grit in his eyes. He looked around the room and suddenly his stomach fell through his body to the floor. He’d presumed the whole time that he was safe, found by good people and proper medical professionals. He presumed he was being looked after by the best in the medical field, but apparently he was wrong. Tony looked around the room and watched as water dribbled from cracks in the walls and spiders crawled over the windows and spun curtains of webs over the small, dirty panes of glass that barely let light through. 

Tony gulped and looked around closer to him, he was in a bed with grey sheets (he knew they’d been white once but apparently hadn’t been washed in a decade), he saw his wrists tied to the bed by his side, and his feet chained to the posts. He wrinkled his nose as the stench of blood curled into his nose and he almost gagged as he watched a rat scurry out from under a desk in the corner of the room and towards the door that was slightly ajar. He looked around for any sign of where he was and was annoyed to see that even the outlets in the room weren’t consistent. There was a North American one right next to a European outlet. The plugs on the other side of the room from him, by the door, were UK plugs and were both off. If they had been on, he would have had some light, but since the lamp wasn’t connected to the electricity, Tony was slowly being shrouded in darkness as the sun disappeared and cast an orange hue on the wall behind Tony’s head. 

Tony laid back and tried to think. His head still ached and he wondered when he last ate or drank anything. He didn’t want to tell the people who’d brought him here that he was awake - until he was on death’s door, so he kept quiet. But internally, Tony was screaming. 

He had wanted to die, but now he couldn’t think of anything worse. 

He tried to think about any of his journey that might have indicted where he was or how long he’d been moving for. They’d kept him fairly sedated the whole time so Tony wasn’t surprised that this heavy thinking brought nothing apart from a worse headache forwards. Tony thought about what he’d wanted to do, he felt shame and guilt bubble up inside him and he tried not to think of what Peter thought of him. He’d been so stupid, just running away from his problems and not even telling Peter what had happened. Now Tony would never get the chance, these people might try to ransom him for something, they might try to make him build something for them, or they might just want to torture him for fun. Tony didn’t even have a clue about who had got him, and he had no hints about his location that might help him work out who had him. The room was fairly cool, but due to the dripping cracks, open door, and lack of bed sheets - Tony couldn’t tell what that meant. There was no AC, but he seemed to be in a run-down building which might not have it - no matter where in the world he was - and water and the sun weren’t very strong clues but he guessed he was still on Earth. Or he fucking hoped he was. 

Tony’s eyes slid closed and he passed out just after he heard a clicking above his head. 

-

Tony was soon introduced to three people. 

One was slim and small, seemed young and had dark, curly hair that was piled on the top of their head in a bun; they always wore a black mask and a lab coat that didn’t tell Tony more about who they were. They refilled the bags of stuff that were connected to Tony through an IV drip and checked his temperature, mouth, eyes and ears. They always ignored Tony’s questions.

One was a large white, balding short man, he spoke to Tony a few times and asked him about random things whilst checking the room and Tony’s restraints. “Do you have any pets?”, “What’s your favourite fruit?”, “What’s the worst book you’ve ever read?”, “Which way did you vote in the election of 2004?”, and other completely random questions. Not only that but his accent changed every time they spoke, and it never sounded fake, or put-on. 

The last was an older asian woman that just came into the doorway, stared at Tony and left again. Tony had seen her four times, each time after waking up from a nap to find her staring at him. 

Tony called them, Curley, Baldy and Weird. 

-

Tony counted seventeen days. That was how long he’d been trapped. At first, he hadn’t done anything because he was hungry, tired and confused. Then he hadn’t done anything because he didn’t know what was outside the door and he didn’t have a plan. Then he’d grown scared of what was around the corner, and what would happen if he tried to run for it. 

At night, when everything got dark, there were noises. He was normally just plunged into darkness and silence. Then sometimes he heard the rats. Or other beds squeaking as other people shifted in them. Then a door would slam. Then voices would bounce off into the walls. And shadows would creep into Tony’s room and give him nightmares. Then sometimes Tony would wake with a start as if he’d heard a loud bang, but then there would be nothing for him to hear apart from his own shuddering breaths. 

Just before the sun came up was the worst. 

Tony heard laughing and it wasn’t pleasant, happy laughter, it was creepy, thin and made Tony’s body leap into ‘fight or flight’ mode. 

Tony heard guns going off. Solo gunshots that seemed miles away, but they were close enough to pose a threat. There might sometimes be a few more shots, but they were uncomfortably far apart from each other, maybe with a 40-minute gap between shots. 

Other times Tony heard screams. He felt his skin crawl when he heard the screams. Sometimes they sounded close, as if next door or around the corner. Other times they were distant and echoey. 

Tony feared what was outside his room, he was safe where he was. Technically. Curley, Baldy and Weird had never hurt him. Curley had sent him to sleep a few times, Baldy tightened his restraints too tight and jostled him about, but had never threatened him, and Weird was … weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back with normal updates hopefully!
> 
> I'm back into a better headspace now and I'm determined to finish this fic!!!!!!!!!!


	9. Thinking (7)

7

Peter‘s POV 

Peter hugged Pepper and passed her a tissue from the box on his lap as she cried a little. She’d told him everything that had happened and had expected Peter to be angry. He wasn’t. Not really. 

Peter explained how he’d expected it, he knew that Tony would do something like this soon enough, and had mentally prepared for the event. He hadn’t expected everything else to happen after the kiss though. He couldn’t even be that mad, they’d kissed. That was all - no sex, no feelings, no promises, just a kiss. 

Then Tony had bolted and left everyone confused. 

-

Peter had organised a search party, had all the Avenger’s tech searching for Tony and had Jarvis working 24/7 on searching the web for anything related to Tony. Pepper had taken up the role of CEO for now, but she was so reliant on Peter for help that they’d joked that he could take over from her if they didn’t find Tony. Sometimes it felt as if she wasn’t joking. 

Of course she hoped that Tony would return, but she feared the worst and tried to keep a brave face in front of Peter. Peter knew that she wasn’t hoping too hard about Tony’s return. She’d known him disappear before but he’d always returned after a few days, or left a note, or told Jarvis to reassure everyone. This time he’d sulked off into the night and disappeared. Jarvis had been blocked from trying to find Tony’s location (and Peter was roaming through the AI’s thousands of lines of coding trying to find a back entrance) and they had no fucking clue where he’d gone to. 

Peter was beyond stressed. He’d quit his job and moved down to New Mexico semi-permanently, constantly on the hunt for his missing boyfriend. He’d locked his heart away and didn’t think too much about Tony or how much he missed him. He was always to tired at the end of each day that he passed out, instead of sleeping. He’d learnt that sleeping allowed dreams or nightmares to surface. Passing out did not. Passing out was a way to fast-forward time to the next morning. 

New York, and specifically Queens, had seen a spike in crimes again as their hero had disappeared too. That, and the media was finally realising that Iron Man and Tony hadn’t been seen in a while. Tony’s last media sighting was the night that Iron Man and Spiderman had been flying around Manhattan; neither hero had been seen since. Rumours and theories had been spreading like wildfire. ‘Spiderman and IronMan: Kidnapped?’ read one news article title; another: ‘Tony Stark quits limelight and takes his latest project Spiderman with him’. 

Ned and MJ had noticed that Peter had been a bit absent, and he’d regretfully left them on read for the past week since he quit his job. He’d met a few of Tony’s friends, including Rohdey and most of the Avengers by now. They were all pleasant around Peter but he knew that they never really liked Tony that much, but they at least were helping to find him. Tony did fund the Avengers after all. 

-

Peter was beyond stressed, Tony’s case had run dry and cold. Most people had given up on Tony ever coming back, Thor had even suggested that Tony might not be on Earth. Peter knew that Tony wouldn’t run that far from his problems. Or at least he hoped he wouldn’t go that far - especially without leaving Pepper and Peter in the dark. 

Peter had grown close to Pepper, Natasha and Happy over the past three months of looking for Tony. They’d moved to New York so that Pepper and Peter could be closer to the Stark Industries business; and Happy could be back with May who was still confused as to when Tony and Peter had even gotten together.

Peter was working through some things with specialists, he was seeing a therapist to help him with all of the thousands of thoughts racing around his mind. The therapist also helped with Peter getting used to not feeling guilty, since he’d technically done nothing wrong - but was starting to blame himself for Tony’s flight. “But other than to get away from me, why would he leave?” Peter started one session with. Dr Beck had smiled charmingly, as he always did, and helped Peter through rationalising his worries. 

Peter was training with Natasha, who’d gotten back into being Black Widow during the hunt for Tony. She needed someone to train with who could fight back as fast as she could go; and Peter needed to release some stress. 

Peter talked with Pepper all the time, they’d grown fond of eachother, Pepper was kind, considerate, and understanding of Peter’s issues; since she herself had dealt with all of Tony’s bullshit at one point.

But it was during the nights where Peter didn’t have anyone to drown out the thoughts with. No advice to listen to, no fights with Nat, no talks with Pepper and Dr Beck. 

-

Peter lay awake, mind racing and palms sweating. He’d just woken up from a nightmare that featured dripping taps, cracked walls and flickering lights. He turned the lights on immediately and glanced around the room as if his bedroom would suddenly change into a torture chamber. Then a thought dawned on him, “Jarvis, what if Tony’s actually dead?”. 

“Well, the business would be signed onto Ms Potts,” Jarvis paused, “then there would be a funeral...” Jarvis trailed off, knowing not to talk deeply on the subject. “No I know that… but what do I do? We weren’t married or anything, we’d barely been dating. What if he never comes back, do I move on?” Peter took in a breath, “But then what if he DOES come back? And I’ve moved on?”. Peter’s mind was racing, once again, at a million miles an hour. 

“I’ve called Dr Beck, he’s on his way.” Peter pouted, “was this wrong Peter?”. Peter shook his head and crawled out of the bed and grabbed one of Tony’s sweaters and pulled the large garment over his head and trudged into the living space. He knew that Dr Beck lived fairly close by, and he’d rather not have therapy in his bedroom. 

-

Peter swivelled on the barstool, “I didn’t think I’d have to think of this bit, about him not coming back” Peter explained. Dr Beck sat on the counter opposite him, “I just think you should explore this path, I think that could be healthy for you to think beyond Tony coming back”. Peter nodded, but his heart hurt to think about this, “you’ve been in casual relationships for so long, then you met Tony and you thought you’d settle down...” Peter hummed and nodded, “what was so special about Tony?”.

“Is. He’s not dead yet Dr Beck...” Peter warned, suddenly not wanting to have this conversation anymore.


	10. Questions (8)

[new TWs read the new tags]

Tony’s POV

Tony shuddered as he woke up, something felt wrong. There was a definite chill in the air and shivers wracked his body as he stirred awake. 

He opened his eyes and immediately scanned the room. He looked at the closed door and tried to remember if it had ever been shut before. He glanced around and jumped where he lay when he saw a man standing in the corner opposite the door. He was tall, handsome (what? It’s not like he could enjoy Baldy, Curly and Weird...), and looked clever. He had light wash jeans on, black leather boots (Dr Martens?) and a white shirt tucked into the pants. The sleeves were rolled up, despite the temperature in the room, and Tony noticed he had a notebook in one hand, with a phone in the other.

Tony gulped and wondered what he might be here to do, Tony hadn’t seen him before and he was sure it had been around 20-ish days since he’d arrived wherever he was. Tony looked around the room again in case anyone else was lurking in the corners. 

The man smiled at Tony, and the restrained man noticed that he wasn’t just standing in the corner, he was slouched against the wall - relaxed and at ease - Tony felt a pang of fear as he realised the man was used to the situation Tony was in. The man might be the orchestrator of his kidnapping for all he knew. The man still hadn’t spoken yet, even though Tony had been staring for the past few minutes. Tony opened his mouth and spoke carefully, “hi?”. It came out more like a croak, since he hadn’t spoken for a while, the man smiled. 

“Hello Mr Stark” The man’s voice was pleasant and nice to listen to; Tony noticed how the man knew his name, but wasn’t shocked. He was still smiling softly, and Tony smiled but kept his waries high and didn’t let his guard go down yet. “I’m Dr Beck, I’m a psychologist.”

“So I’m just here as a science experiment?” Tony huffed. His voice was still gravelly and quite obviously irritated, but no longer croaky and painful-sounding. 

The Doctor smiled and shook his head casually, “No- you’re my experiment, but you’re the only participant. It’s a special little experiment for me and you”. The smile Dr Beck wore wasn’t nice anymore, it was something that an evil villain wore before they killed you while you slept. It made Tony tense up, let alone the man’s words running around his mind, echoing in his ears. 

“What’s the experiment?” Tony asked, trying to sound happy to be there and curious.

“What happens to the human mind if everything he loves is threatened - but he’s trapped and can’t do anything about it” Beck said casually. He then took a step away from the wall and towards Tony. Tony breathed in sharply, his body ready to fight. “I’m going to ask you a few questions, Mr Stark, is that okay?”

“Does it matter if I say no?” Tony grumbled, not liking how close the man was to his bed. 

“Yes, I’ll just do stuff without asking-” Dr Beck explained. “So, questions?”

“Go ahead,” Tony consented, thinking how he’d much rather know and dread the pain than not know what’s coming. 

“You have three seconds to answer my questions before I move onto the next - if you don’t reply I’ll leave it blank” Dr Beck explained, sitting on the bed without Tony’s consent. 

“Worst fear?”

“Drowning”

“Sexuality?”

“Bisexual”

“Ever cheated?”

“Yes”

“Best gift ever received?”

“A private jet from Pepper”

“How much was it?”

“Half a million?”

“Current bed warmer?”

“No-one important”

“Stark’s next project?”

“Leave it blank”

“Why?”

“I’d rather die than spill Company secrets”

“I’ll remember that”

“What Is The Smallest Thing You Got Angry About?”

“Uh- stubbed toe?”

“What's The Worst Thing You've Ever Done In Your Life?”

“Leave the ranch”

“Thoughts on revenge?”

“I love it”

“Most shameful experience?”

“...”

“You a jealous man Stark?”

“No comment”

“Rate yourself from one to ten”

“Seven”

On and on went the questions, the phone in Dr Beck’s hand was used as a recorder; and the notebook housed all the questions. Tony’s voice by the end was back to croaky and sore, overused and painful. Dr Beck, on the other hand, never faltered, never stuttered, never reacted to an answer (or lack of). 

Tony was relieved when the notebook finally closed, never had he been so grateful for the closing of a book before. Dr Beck smiled at Tony when they had finished, “Any questions for me?”. 

Tony kept quiet and ignored Beck. 

“I’ll tell Peter ‘hi’ for you” Beck said later as he closed the door after him. Tony’s whole body went rigid, he’d not mentioned Peter.


	11. Dates (9)

Peter’s POV

Peter took in a breath that he hoped would calm him down, stop the sweating in his palms and the racing heart in his chest. Guess what, it didn’t work. 

Peter smiled as he pushed the heavy wooden door open and watched as his date stood up from the chair and took a step towards him. He walked up to his date, kissed him on the cheek and they left the foyer of the hotel and into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated and their drink order taken (a red wine for Peter, a Piña Colada for his date) they began to chat. Over the months of knowing each other they’d grown closer and closer until it was inevitable that they’d begin to fall for each other. 

Peter trusted him, the man was sweet, caring and kind. He was attentive and Peter trusted him without a doubt. Peter was glad the man was so kind, so happy to help Peter with anything he needed. He’d pulled Peter out of panic attacks, stopped him from drowning in guilt and helped him to grieve Tony. 

[On that matter, Tony was presumed dead, there was no trace of the man, no clues and no leads to help out the authorities. They’d not closed his case, but had withdrawn all searches and the rewards for finding Tony were still out there but nobody had even falsely claimed to see Tony in months. Peter hadn’t stopped trying to find Tony until he was convinced by his therapist that he was becoming obsessive on the case. He eventually agreed and stopped trying to find Tony. He knew it was pointless, and that Dr Beck was right, he should stop being so childish with his ideas of finding Tony after four months of him disappearing.]

Peter’s meal was delicious, and so was the sight of his date. The man was in a tight white shirt, cuffs rolled to the elbow, showing a beautiful amount of tanned skin that Peter wanted to bite marks onto. Peter gulped down some wine as they ate, trying to appease the thirst that was building in his mind (and groin). His date was laughing at something the waiter had said, but was simultaneously stroking a hand on Peter’s thigh which was slowly sliding farther up said thigh towards Peter’s embarrassingly large bulge. 

By desert, Peter was a wreck, he was shivery and aching with need. He was overstimulated and needed to release. He ordered the bill while wolfing down his strudel, he stopped his sinfully attractive date from ordering post-dinner coffee and practically dragged the man into the street and into a cab before barking at the driver to go to his home and adding “I’ll pay you extra if you keep quiet the whole journey” and promptly jumped onto his date’s lap. 

Peter’s lips were sore by the end of the cab ride, and as promised he paid the man triple - as collateral for what the poor man had just had to endure. Peter dragged his date into bed and was crying by the end of the night in delight as he came over and over again. His date was soft, calm and understanding when Peter needed him to be; but was also rough and hot and dominating when Peter needed to be distracted from his thoughts. 

On wobbly legs, Peter staggered to the bathroom hours after returning to the apartment. He looked at himself in the mirror and tried to swallow the guilt of sleeping with someone who wasn’t Tony. He slid into the shower and sighed as the warm water embraced his body. Soon after something else was embracing him, his date’s arms were wrapping around his torso and pulling his back to press against his firm and broad torso. 

After a few more orgasms in the bathroom the two men collapsed into bed and Peter concluded that this was exactly what he needed to move on from Tony. “Can we do this again?” he asked the man who was spooning him carefully. He felt the older man nod against his pillows and Peter smiled.

-

Peter found a rhythm after that night. He had returned to his Spiderman duties a few weeks before (after he’d stopped trying to find Tony every night) and was enjoying the satisfaction that the job brought. During the days he helped Pepper run Stark Industries, he helped Mr Lee design new things for the lab workers to design, and he went on very satisfying dates with the man he was quickly falling for. 

Every weekend Peter would spend some time with Natasha and do workouts; they would both strategize about how the Avengers could improve, and he helped to design new suits for each member. He had one-to-ones with each Avenger to maximise their needs with each suit - rather than them just having what Tony had handed them. 

Thursdays were Peter’s favourite days; he wasn’t needed by Pepper so he had the whole day to himself. He normally went to therapy with Dr Beck, talked through some things, and then had a coffee date, followed by a lunch date, and after a walk in Central Park him and his date would have dinner somewhere - either with Peter cooking in his apartment, or them going out to a restaurant somewhere. That would then be followed by a long, steamy night of lovemaking. 

-

Peter often thought about Tony, he wondered if it was suicide. The man had talked about attempting before, and even Pepper had known that he’d wanted to do it sometimes. 

Peter wondered if he had left Earth, and jumped on another planet. They couldn’t explain how he would get there though - there was no missing Iron Man suit, no suit out of place. Tony didn’t own any space crafts, only personal flight drones and planes; even an exact replica of the Air Force One, but no space-operational vehicles. (And if he did, privately - there was nowhere that they had found that could hold one). 

Peter wondered if the man was hiding somewhere. On Earth. But Peter knew Tony, he was self-centred, egotistical and an attention seeker (on his best days that was). He knew the man would have bust in the doors by now shouting “Suprise, did you miss me?” by now. But he hadn’t and that meant that Tony was actively hiding from him and Pepper (if he was even alive.) 

Peter often stopped himself from thinking about Tony for too long, always remembering Dr Beck’s words about childish hope, obsessiveness and delusional thoughts. Dr beck was right, of course - Peter was being stupid for hoping for Tony to come back by now. It had been five months after all, Tony wasn’t coming back and Peter needed to stop kidding himself about it. 

-

After a month of his new routine, Peter was sat on a bench after a lovely date and was waiting for an Uber to arrive to pick him and his date up. 

Peter was nudged in the waist by his date and he turned to face the handsome man next to him. “Hey Peter?” the man asked, Peter hummed in response. Relaxed by the heavy chocolate pudding in his stomach. “How are the drugs feeling?” his date asked, Peter felt his stomach lurch for a second as the words hit his skull. Then a moment he went limp and let himself fall into his date’s lap. 

“Quin?” he asked, confused. 

“Oh Petey, you’re okay” Dr Beck, or ‘Quin’ as Peter had started calling him, hushed. “You’re safe with me” he muttered, hand stroking through Peter’s hair gently.

Peter heard a car pull up beside the bench and felt himself get carried into the back seats, then everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I remind you to subscribe to the story so that you get updates when I upload a chapter? I'm not exactly consistent and I don't want y'all missing out on content


	12. Waiting. (10)

Tony’s POV 

Peter, poor poor Peter.

Tony found himself throwing up over the side of his bed as Dr Beck described all the torturous things that he would do to the younger man. 

Tony grimaced as Beck described more and more details about his new life with Peter. Tony hated that the man knew what Peter sounded like when he came, knew his kinks and fancies. He hated that Peter had been tricked by Satan in human form. Beck grinned as Tony swallowed bile for the fourth time today and Tony attempted to spit some on Beck’s pristine shirt. 

Tony winced as photos flashed from the projector onto the wall opposite his bed, photos from Jarvis’ camera system of Tony’s bed. But instead of Tony and Peter - it showed a scene that made Tony’s fists turn white and jaw clench. There were photos of Peter riding Beck, looking like he was having a lot of fun; there were photos of Peter being choked and fucked by Beck in a way that Tony had once done. 

He’d asked Beck what his motive was for all this, and other than silence, the man replied with “just to see you suffer Mr Stark”. 

Tony had learnt not to push Beck too far. If he ever sarcastically asked anything, “was that fun then? Fucking my boyfriend?” the man would nod and explain in painful details that Tony didn’t want to know; all about how fun the sex was, how fun it was to fuck something that was Tony’s. 

Tony hated talking about Peter like he was a toy, or a possession; but Beck made him. He only spoke about Peter like he was an object, something that he had that Tony couldn’t grab back. So naturally he felt possessive over Peter, felt like he WAS something to own. Peter wasn’t and he knew that.

He hated that he couldn't help Peter, couldn’t tell him what a horrible man Beck was. Peter probably wouldn’t listen to him though, he had been missing for months now, and if he suddenly started coming up with stories about Beck wanting to capture Peter and raping him, Peter would file a restraining order and tell him he was just jealous. 

Tony hated each time Beck turned up, he knew the man’s plans and he knew what the man wanted to do to Peter - just to make Tony suffer. He knew that it was inevitable - Peter’s kidnapping, drugging and raping. He knew that Beck would arrive one time and produce photos of a rape scene, of Peter drugged out of his mind, unable to consent. 

And Tony finally understood what Beck had meant, about the mental torture of not knowing when something was going to happen, and having no control in the situation to help someone he loved. 

Tony knew that Beck would get bored of Peter too, he’d said so himself, that he’d move on to torturing someone else from Tony’s past. He’d suggested Pepper and Tony had winced, then one time while describing a fantasy that contained a drugged up Peter and a few ounces of lost blood, Beck had suggested Morgan, and Tony had coughed up blood while he screamed his protests. 

She was only three and Tony hadn’t ever thought that someone could be disgusting to a three year old. But apparently Beck had considered it - and was even more motivated now that Tony had hurt his vocal chords with the amount of protest that he’d produced. 

What Tony hated more than Beck turning up, was the days when he didn’t. Tony felt out of the loop, he felt disconnected from Peter and his family while Beck was away. The man kept Tony updated on the creepiest things too, like how well Morgan was doing at toddler school, and how Nat was on her missions. But also things like when Peter had done certain tasks, when he had searched up for news on Tony, asked Jarvis for more info on the man. 

Beck was beyond creepy and made Tony fill with fear as soon as he left the room and even more so when he returned with a smile on his face. 

This time was no different, and as Beck walked in, Tony strained against his restraints as though this time he’d be able to break through them. Alas he had not turned into the Hulk by some miracle and so Beck sauntered in and Tony could do nothing but grimace back. 

Tony’s body reacted as though Beck was a stalking lion, and went into ‘fight’ mode immediately. His guard was up and he simply wanted to punch Beck in the face. He’d all but worked out that Beck was the one to find him on the day he’d passed out, because something about his voice brought back memories of his journey here. But he could be hallucinating these ‘facts’ and Tony had no clue what was actually real now anyway. 

Beck crossed one leg over the other as he sat in a chair opposite Tony’s bed and he placed the notebook on his lap as always. Tony predicted Beck’s next three moves. (Glasses, slight cough, “So Tony, how we doin’?”). 

And as Tony ran through the scenes in his mind, Beck reached for some glasses in his pocket as per usual. Then he cleared his throat and asked the question that Tony always hated. “So Tony, how we doin’?”. Tony, as usual, replied with a grunt. If he made no verbal contact, Beck smiled and noted it in his notebook. If he actually answered, he noted it down. If he grunted, the man did nothing other than move on to the next question. 

Beck prattled through the same routine; questions about Tony, about Peter and Pepper, and then onto what would be worse for Tony to watch (“would you prefer it if I raped Peter or if I carved my name into his chest with a penknife?”) and Tony couldn’t help but fear that Beck was noting these preferences so that he could actually do what Tony said. 

Sometimes Beck asked Tony “why?” and the man had to come up with some excuse because if he didn’t Beck always taunted him to do both to Peter, or Pepper, or Morgan, or whoever he was questioning Tony about. 

Three days later Tony noticed something as Beck walked in. He was carrying a plastic bag, like the one that Walmart gives you for free when you check out. Tony couldn’t tell what was in it but feared the ultimate worst (the day before Beck had asked about Tony’s thoughts on beheadings) and almost threw up. 

The second thing that Tony noticed was that Beck was walking a little slower than normal, or it was Tony’s imagination. 

Any after, when Beck had sat down, put on his glasses and asked Tony his favourite question “So Tony, how we doin’?”, did Beck answer Tony’s repeated question of what was in the bag. “Wait until later, then you’ll see,” Beck answered with a wink that made Tony want to hurl. 

Tony was not a patient man, and Beck had been testing him for over a month now, but this bag was a direct tug on Tony’s need for answers. He interrupted Beck mid sentence: “I’ll do anything you want if you tell me what’s in that bag...please”. 

Beck’s face went from annoyed to evil in seconds and Tony regretted saying the word “anything”. Beck tossed the bag at Tony and it landed lightly on his lap with precise accuracy. Tony ripped it open to the best of his bound hand’s ability. “What’s that?” Tony asked, when a piece of fabric fell into his lap. “Sniff it” commanded Beck. Tony did so and his heart stuttered, he at first thought ‘chloroform’ at his body’s reaction to it, and then immediately was hit with nostalgia and sweet memories that turned sour in his mind. 

Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the new tags and warnings before the next chapter please!!!!!!


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